Apologies for my hiatus, I assure you I was up to no good as always.
Life around here has been quite the adjustment as of late. Will proposed to me on July 3rd, and I of course, accepted. I still can’t quite believe any of this is really happening. My family is absolutely ecstatic! Mom and I are talking honeymoons and houses, dresses and name changes. It’s quite a lot to deal with, this whole marriage thing. Will and I have come to the decision that a huge wedding isn’t for us. We haven’t decided on the ceremony type we want, but it will probably be small and informal, followed by an amazing honeymoon. I can’t seem to look at the amount of money it would take for a wedding without having a panic attack. I’d rather use that as a down payment on a house, or something else that will help us out in the long term.
I must admit that I grew rather fond of the single life… No responsibilities to anyone besides myself. I do miss my weekends spent playing Skyrim for days on end and only showering to change into another set to PJ’s. Thankfully, he’s worth breaking my sloth habits. And good thing for that too, because I’m cooking and cleaning, doing laundry for two, figuring out dinner menus, packing lunches, and working as many hours as I can to get extra money. Will is doing the same, so that keeps us quite busy. Actually, he is beginning grant season, so I’m preparing to become a widow for the next 6 or so months. Ugh. Last year he ended up sleeping in his office and living off of microwave meals. I’m really hoping that there won’t be a repeat this year.
Adjusting to a couple’s life has been quite daunting at times, but nice. Will is a wonderful compliment to my overly bubbly, exuberant self. He’s very grounded and even at times… stoic. We always joke that I make him nicer and he makes me a little bit tougher. But adjusting to having two people trying to go in the same direction has been difficult at times. Like this morning.
***Next week*** (See what I mean about time?)
I think the worst thing I’ve had to deal with has been everyone sticking their noses where they don’t belong. Family tries to sway decisions this way and that way, coworkers want to know every little thing… It’s incredibly annoying. While well intentioned, sometimes I wish everyone would shut up for two seconds and leave us alone! I don’t want to talk about dresses all the time, and I really, really don’t want to hear about all the problems people assume Will and I will have. This is a learning process for both of us, the only promise I made to Will is that I would love him, stand with him, and try my absolute best.
Here are some annoying things people say:
“You think that love is all that matters…” Of course not, else I would have married a chocolate bar…
“You are dead until the moment you get married, then your life really begins…” Thanks for invalidating my entire life. I really appreciate that.
“You have no experience, if you get married soon your marriage will fail” I wasn’t aware that experience that you are assuming I don’t have is a prerequisite to my success.
“The transition will be incredibly rough” If it is, we’ll get through it. It might not be. We won’t know until we are in the middle of it. All I can do is trust my husband to stand with me and figure it out.
“You might not make it, you know 50% of couples get divorced.” 50% don’t, and who are you to judge either way?
“Am I invited to the wedding???!” ……………………………..?
“When you get to (insert life stage here), you’ll understand” Maybe I have to go through this life stage to get to that one so I can give ominous condescending advice to couples just starting out.
“Are you sure about this?” Noooooo. It just sounded like a lot of fun. In no way is it challenging, in no way does it have the potential to ruin my life and hurt those I love. I just randomly decided to get married because I got really bored and I thought he was cute.
“You don’t look… lovey enough. That’s going to be a problem.” Just because I’m not draped all over him in public doesn’t mean we aren’t in love. I’m sorry, but over the top PDA makes me physically ill. Any PDA in front of my parents is creepy too. Eww.
“If the honeymoon stage is already done, you’re done.” I didn’t know being comfortable with someone was a bad thing. He’s my whole world, but I don’t sit there and gush about it. Like PDA, GAG!
It seems like when something really momentous in someone’s life occurs, instead of being happy, a lot of people are negative. I just wish people would smile, say congratulations, and wish us luck. Ultimately it is up to the two of us to make our relationship everything that we want it to be.
My parents have been very supportive of us, but often like to assume things that just make me want to smash my head into a wall. That lovey comment was my Mom. She was arguing that Will and I disagree vocally quite a bit and don’t give each other googly eyes. She is right on both counts. We are both trying to figure out how to compromise because we are incredibly stubborn. We like our things one way because our way is best. That leads to issues and voices do get raised. But she hasn’t seen us resolve our disagreements, come up with a better solution and move forward. We do that in private, because neither of us want anyone else involved. I can’t help getting mad right in that moment and shooting out a sarcastic comment. But I can appreciate the fine art of shutting up so that’s all anyone hears.
One thing that she was completely right about was how we are both so focused on getting to the next step, we don’t enjoy being together right now enough. Both of us are extremely driven. When we want something, we get it. So both of us have been dealing with pretty heavy stuff all the time trying to figure out how we are going to get to the point of saying our vows and moving in together. We are both too stressed about paychecks, insurance, switching jobs, moving out of state, apartments or houses… that’s just not good. So to fix that, we are going to go spend a weekend away and discuss how we can handle this stress better and be there for each other more.
So that will be where we are this weekend. We shall hopefully have a wonderful time and get to really relax for a little bit. Thankfully throughout the holidays we have quite a few days scheduled off so we will be able to see each other a lot more. It is hard living in two different cities and only getting to see each other on the weekends. Yet another strain on the relationship, but it is definitely making our time together so much more valuable. I’ll be so happy when I get to come home every day and know that he’s there.
I hope all of you are well! I don’t know if I’ll be around more often. I’m going to try to, but that didn’t work out well these past few months….