Thursdays are not my day. In the course of two hours this morning, I managed to:
- Wake up at the time I was supposed to be leaving for work, leaving me no time to get ready and distracting me so much I didn’t…
- Realize I forgot my lunchbox at the office yesterday and was searching for it frantically which made me…
- Forget I needed to fill up my gas tank until looking at my meter, so I had to take an alternate route to work at the last second which made me…
- Get stuck in traffic for an hour for no apparent reason driving my excessive road rage through the roof because people cannot drive their cussing cars in straight lines without completely making morons out of themselves.
By the time I arrived at work, I felt like a hot mess. The replacement valet (who is usually an absolute jerk but has taken a liking to me) cheerfully laughed at my visible frustration and opened the door for me whilst wishing me better luck for the rest of the day. Now, considering that my boss is an awesome guy and that I bribe him with baked goods frequently, all was well. I left two jumbo cupcakes in his office with a bag of cookies and we agreed to not mention the time I arrived at my desk. But it just screwed up my day.
I legitimately hate mornings like this because I make all the provisions necessary so this garbage doesn’t happen to me. I hate feeling like an irresponsible moron incapable of basic planning skills. On my drive home, I allowed myself to wax philosophically (as long as it didn’t interfere with the muttering of insults directed at the 5 lanes of other expressway drivers). My general conclusion was that strange things happen to me and me alone and it is unlikely that people will ever be able to relate. (I know, how…. teenage of me. Next thing I know I’ll be buying Twilight posters and worshiping Justin Beiber…) <— That was sarcasm, I’d commit ritual suicide first.
Long story short, I got home in a mood, which means I gravitated towards my reading. I was tweaking my new blog and looking through common categories just for curiosity’s sake, and what I found astonished me. There are literally thousands of like-minded people out there. People who are going through the same obsessive disorders I struggle with (but never, ever talk about), the same mistakes and failures I’ve made, and suffered the same unfair and heartbreaking circumstances. There are also people with the same political thoughts, the same stubborn morality, the same dorky interests, and the same general attitude I have regarding some things in my life.
I have subjected myself to simulated isolation. I could smack myself.
Just reading some of the things people write and put out there makes me happy and restores my faith in humanity… And that erased every bad thing that happened today. From now on, I will no longer think of myself as alone in my sordid mishaps and problems because no one ever is truly alone. They just make themselves that way.