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This edition is brought to you by the jackass in the white windowless van.

This story opens with the admittance that I still have no idea what the hell this guy’s problem was.

I was minding my own business waiting for a red light on my way home from work when aforementioned jackass pulled up behind me. Being in a long turn lane, it was expected he’d be behind me for a bit. No sooner does this asshole come to a stop, he lays on his horn. Like, blasting. At first I didn’t realize what was going on, so I’m looking all around to figure out where the ambulance is (I work next to about 5 hospitals). Meanwhile, Sir Attention Whore won’t give it a rest.

So I took off my sunglasses and I stared his ugly ass down in my rear view mirror. The light changed and we all moved up a bit. I didn’t quite make it because I like to obey the laws of traffic (I wouldn’t do well in jail). Of course Sir Wonderful about has an aneurysm and starts flapping like a dodo bird while hitting his horn like he’s having a seizure.

Being the mature person I am, I casually point to the red light. More flapping and more honking. So I start yelling back at him and it’s a good thing I was drown out by the horn. This occurred for a solid 3 minutes. We both turned left and got stopped at another light.

I’m not embarrassed to say that I was waiting for that god forsaken lunatic to pull up next to me. If glares could murder, he’d have been ash in a millisecond. He pulls up, ignores me, and patiently waits for the light. Not a peep from him. The light changes and he goes another direction, like the past 6 minutes had not just occurred.

What the hell?!?!