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16. Decide who your friends are.
These 5 words have changed everything in my life in one day. Now, I’m going to give you guys some background info before I launch into this.
My name is Katie, and I attract losers.
Okay, that pretty much covers it! Not really.
So when I was young and naive, bright eyed and new to the ways of the world, I got my first job. This job was to help me save for college because I was one of those odd children that understood money didn’t grow on trees, and if I wanted money, I needed to seriously think about college. Through this job, I met everyone. The drug dealer, the coked out customer, the college senior, the third jobbers. You would think that working in a grocery store would be quiet and uneventful, but it most certainly was not.
Fast forward 5 years to the day. Dropping that resignation in the box was the best feeling I have experienced thus far in my life. I quit my job because it was poison. Most of my coworkers were vengeful assholes hellbent on fighting to the death over power that didn’t exist. Anyone who didn’t fight was deemed a target. A couple of my coworkers went to great lengths to destroy my relationships with friends and with Luis because they were threatened. Why? I have no clue. I was working 3 jobs at the time and didn’t even care what happened.
I had a lot of people on my facebook from the store. Well, I took those asswipes off at record speed. The fallout was huge. But I still retained several because I considered them close personal friends. I also considered a few people I went to school with as such, and I accepted friend requests from kids I used to go to school with and distant relatives. What I got was a mishmosh of about 140 friends on my social network.
Then my life fell apart. You would think I’d have had 120 people right there for me, right? Wrong. I had 2. This really, really pissed me off.
I’m that friend. The one you call in the middle of the night because you are drunk and your car broke down. I’m the one who comes over with soup when you are sick. When you have a death in the family, I take the afternoon off of work and I help you pack your suitcases. I’m the one you call when you are moving, your brother is moving, your other friend I don’t even know is moving. I’m always there in a flash, happy to show how much I care for you and value your friendship.
None of my so called “friends” were like me. Not one! Here is a sampling of the finer specimens of my friend list:
- The friend who only calls, messages, and texts when he’s in between girlfriends and feels lonely
- The friend who only comes around when they need help with their homework
- The crazy friend hell bent on destroying their life, but expects you to feed their attention addiction and run after them
- The friend who comes sobbing to you about their life issues, but when you need someone to talk to, they are nowhere to be found
- The friend that makes plans and then forgets them, and remembers said plans two days after standing you up
- The friend that doesn’t protect you from their own drama, and hurts you with their carelessness
- The friend that takes you for granted and never acknowledges anything you sacrifice for them
- The friend that expects you to attend every one of their special events, but doesn’t even bother to return your messages and texts for a month
- The friend that constantly forgets their card/wallet
- The friends that act like your friends when it’s as plain as day that they are talking shit about you as soon as your back is turned
- The friend that talks about changing their life for the better, but doesn’t care enough to actually do it
- The friends that no-show during your hour of need when you’ve sat in their rooms numerous times, handing them tissues while they had a breakdown
- The friend with whom you have literally nothing in common anymore
- The friend who thinks the phone and every other communication device works one way
- The friend who is always too busy to see you, but expects you to drop everything you are doing to see them
I have 19 people on my facebook as of right now. My phone has been ringing, people have friend requested me again, and I have pissed off a lot of people. The funny thing is that I don’t care. I have given these people the best of me and gotten shit in return. I need to go out and find real friends that I have things in common with, friends I can count on to be… actual friends! The people that I have removed from my facebook have been removed from my life, effective immediately. They can take their attitude, angst, melodrama, and cornucopias of issues with them. I’m tired of my life being shit because of other people.
So this means I literally have…. 2 best friends, 3 good friends, 2 potential friends, and 2 friends who need to seriously get their shit together or else they are getting shown the door too. I no longer see my friend count as a failure. Instead, I see the length of time I held on to these losers as a failure. I harbor no ill feelings towards the friends I’ve drifted away from. I wish them the absolute best, even though we are going separate ways. But to those who have used me, I am less kind. I hope one day they can act their ages and grow the fuck up, but odds are, that shit is not going to happen.
But guess who doesn’t have to listen, participate, or watch? Yeah… Me.