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I know it’s not Monday. But I’m still gonna rage!

This one is dedicated to the scumbags I like to refer to as the highway kamikazes.

Let me set the stage for you….

Once upon a time, it is morning. You are tired. You are also hungry and pissed off that you forgot your breakfast. It’s approximately 5 hours until you can partake of lunch. You are also dreaming of food.

Traffic is awful. Your stomach is screaming. You wait patiently in traffic through the merges, keening along to the radio. All is sucking at the normal level until… you see it.

Disaster follows in his wake… you can sense he has no conscience or sense of morality. He is of… them…

You narrow your eyes. You think to yourself…
“Surely he’s not going to…” That flash in your rear-view mirror is ominous.
“Slow down…” He’s not slowing down to merge into traffic like most self respecting decent drivers.
“MOTHER******!!!” Yep, that’s how he wants to play it.
“NO YOU DON’T YOU GOD**** BASTARD!!!!” And yeah, he just did.

As you watch in horror, the car that pulled out of traffic 5 miles behind you flies past you, only to dive into traffic at 60 MPH at the very, very end of the merge lane. This bastard seriously just circumvented the traffic that you’d been waiting in for 15 minutes because you respect law and order. He’s now ahead of you.

He doesn’t deserve to be ahead of you. He deserves to be pulled over by the highway patrol, hogtied, and thrown into a replica of the Spartan death pit for disrespecting the fundamental human concept of a line.

But he won’t because life isn’t fair. He never gets into an accident, he gets where he needs to on time… clearly these are the perks of being a soulless dessicated wraith.

You hate him with every fiber of your being not currently preoccupied with starvation.

Highway kamikaze.

F*** YOU.