Well everyone, it’s that wonderful day countless people look forward to. We have the day off of work, many of you have a white Christmas, and today is a day where the sugar you consume has no effect on your waistline!
Now, as I was reading all the Christmas posts this morning, I noticed a stark contrast between a bunch of y’all. All of you should know by now that if I follow you, I read everything you post. And I like and comment
like a Facebook obsessed teenager frequently. After reading everything this afternoon, I have come to the conclusion that there are three types of Christmas spirit:
1. Christmas is Awesome
Example: Look at these gorgeous lights and pies! These are some carolers that came to our door, and this is the secret family recipe for our meatballs! The kids are happy and the weather is beautiful. Merry Christmas everyone!
Example: It’s Christmas. Merry Christmas everyone! May your day be better than mine!
3. This sucks.
Example: None needed.
Now, I’ll admit I’m in the middle/last category. It’s Christmas, it’s a holiday… I’m going to eat junk food and hang out all day. I’m not bursting with cheer, but I’m not feeling a touch of melancholy either. Family is split up this year, I’m just not feeling all happy and cheery, and I don’t want to force it. I’m afraid that some memory from last year is going to surface and I’m going to miss Luis, firmly putting me into category 4: Hate everything.
But part of me has been touched with some nostalgia over the way Christmas used to be. When I was a child, our Christmases were freaking amazing. As I was thinking, I remembered a lot of things I’d forgotten. Our family was poor. We didn’t have much, so our gifts were normal. My sister and I had a budget and we got toys, but that didn’t really matter. It doesn’t stick with me as much as it should. What I really remember are the little things, like how there was always a lot of laughter.
I thought it would be nice for the people in categories 2, 3, and 4 to do something to put things in perspective. Category 1 people have already done their jobs… I’ve smiled a million times this morning and taken part in their joy. For the rest of us that have to work more at it, I think an exercise is in order. When you are miserable, sometimes it’s nice to laugh at things about life that just don’t make sense.
Do not feel like you have to participate, this is purely voluntary!
There is no time regulation for this challenge. Your answers can involve the past, present, future… or even a fictional world.
I would like all participants to answer the following: List 30 things that make you laugh, smile, contemplate the true extent of human intelligence, or shake your head at the level of epic failure
I Shall Begin!
30 things i find funny
1. The NRA’s response to gun violence (“Got gun violence? Need more dudes with guns!”)
2. Justin Beiber’s attempt to be the new Eminem (one does not attempt to be ‘gangsta’ when surrounded by screaming 12 year old girls)
3. The fact that my favorite food looks like a phallic symbol if wrapped incorrectly
4. Swearing (the more medieval, the better)
5. Really smart people having no common sense
6. My uncontrollable blush when someone says something off color in polite company… I look like a beet and have to run away quickly
9. Anything sarcastic
10. Elaborate apocalypse plans… as if you aren’t going to die anyway
11. The obsession over Kim Kardashian’s ass
12. How I’ve lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks while drinking insane amounts of hot cocoa
13. Hipsters arguing with teenage girls
15. Guys that think they’ve got game
16. Ugly Christmas sweaters
17. Starving artists who are more concerned about their image than their art (not to be confused with hipsters, but just as annoying)
18. People that dish out advice they should take first
20. Farting in public by accident
21. Public arguments over stupid things by people who assume using big words makes them intelligent
22. How England has better TV than ‘Murica
23. American politicians who speak of Godly values in the middle of a sex scandal
24. Fruit Cake
25. Accidental innuendos
26. The time Mexican drug smugglers tried to build a ramp over a border fence and ended up getting their car stuck at the top
27. Scantily clad people who decide not to wear underwear and then get indignant when we laugh at them
28. Outlandish tales about toilet pixies
30. Observing awkward social situations at parties while stuffing your face at the buffet
So hopefully that got a smile or at least a little laugh. Humor is the best medicine. I know I’m feeling a lot cheerier… If you want to participate, go for it. Post in the comments or do a link back to this post. If not, remember that next Christmas will be better because there will be more stupid people to laugh at!