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This is a story about how I almost ended up a fugitive.

83. Finish traffic school on my pending speeding ticket.

Yeah, I broke the law. I went 62 in a 45 and officer Hagan was right behind that bend waiting for me. I was running late for work (in scrubs… Thank God for professional courtesy) and appalled at my lead foot, so he was nice and wrote the ticket down. It ended up being around $150 and I got the option to complete traffic school. Easy right? Not if you’re me. Aka. Stupid.

In the county I live in, we have 1 month to pay our speeding infractions (or they haul us into court) and then 3 months to complete traffic school if we choose to do that. Traffic school erases the points that can be permanently applied to your license. Now, if you are driving horrendously or if you get into a car accident and it was clearly your fault, you don’t get the option of traffic school, you just have whatever you did sent to your insurance company (so your premiums skyrocket) and you get permanent points on your license. Get enough points, Uncle Sam won’t let you drive. If you still drive, you better be tough enough for jail because you are going straight there if you get caught.

I paid my infraction the day after Officer Hagan reported it to the court. I did not enjoy that little case number that said “State of Florida v. Katie Renee”. That was scary and I hope I never have to see that again. I love my country and my government, but I’m really not keen on our prison system (privatized). Anyway, I signed up for traffic school and got started, but I was embarrassed and wanted to avoid the entire thing. So I avoided it for 2 months and 2 (or 3) weeks. Then I remembered in a flash of terror that another case gets opened if you don’t finish your traffic school. You get fined even more and then another case opens up, and then you actually have to drive into town and explain to the judge that you are a hapless moron and should be pitied as such. Not my idea of a good time….

I finished it in about 4 hours (which is about right) and sent in my results. I got a nice little email from one of the Clerks of the Court saying that my case is now closed and the state won’t be pursuing me for any other damages or infractions.

Suck it county prison! Enjoy your bologna sandwiches and shank crafting…

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