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Monday afternoon I have a job interview.

I feel like I should be more apprehensive than I actually am. I should feel nervous and I should assume that the worst is in store for me (if last year was any indication). But I’m just excited and it’s nice not to have a dark cloud of negativity hovering above my head.

This job would mean a lot to me, and it would open so many doors. I’m ready to fully step away from all remnants of my past life and make a new, clean start. My job would be in a different city where no one has ever heard of me. I wouldn’t have this constant shadow, I’d be able to walk into a grocery store without running into a former coworker or manager. Seriously, walking into a grocery store to get bread is a luxury. Imagine that all the grocery stores in your area were off limits because enemy forces have infiltrated them. Just around the next corner you could find pancake mix or the guy that ruined your life. I don’t like those odds, so I haven’t had decent sandwich meat in over half a year.

Not to mention this position would be a full time job in a fantastic office with benefits. I’m ready to start a career. This is my stepping stone into a career in optometry. If I get this position, across the street is a dance studio where I’d love to take ballroom dance classes. A little farther down the road is a yoga school I’ve heard good things about. The cost of living there is low. My bank is located in this city, and so is the church I was baptized in. I feel like this would be a great thing for me and I really, really want this.

When I got a call out of the blue I was so surprised because all the positions in that office had been filled two weeks prior. Apparently someone left and because I’d just been there I was fresh in the doctor’s mind. It’s all too surreal to be honest. I’m calling divine intervention here, but others can call it luck if they wish. I realize now that it’s pretty much useless to make plans when you are a kid… if anyone would have ever told me I would be going for a career in optometry, I’d have laughed in their face and informed that that I was going to be an archaeologist, a professor, or a Mom. I never thought that life would take me in this direction, but I’m glad that I had faith enough to see that last year wasn’t the complete end of my life. I think Eminem sums this situation up pretty well in “Beautiful”:

I know this shit’s so hard to swallow, but I just can’t sit back an’ wallow
in my own sorrow, but I know one fact: I’ll be one tough act to follow.
Nobody asked for life to deal us with these bullshit hands we’re dealt,
we gotta take these cards ourselves and flip ’em, don’t expect no help.
Now I could’ve either just sat on my ass and pissed and moaned,
or take this situation in which I’m placed in and get up and get my own.
God gave you shoes to fit you, so put ’em on and wear ’em.

So, fourth career choice is the charm?

At least I hope it is. If not, I’ll keep looking until I move myself to a better place.