Feelings ahead! Feelings!! Look out everyone, the feels gif is back!
Okay, so this morning I woke up super depressed because I had a dream last night about Luis. And it was a lovely dream even though he was the weight he was when we started dating (which he’s super thin now so I don’t know what that was about), and I looked like I’d died 5 years ago (bony look is not good for me, neither is long, stringy, dead hair all of which will never happen). So after that lovely dream I woke up and facebook stalked him (please take this moment to remove the your palm from your face, I’m well aware I’m a masochistic moron with serious emotional problems).
What I got was my song (or the song he plays for me or about me or whatever) “Savior” by Rise Against. If you are unfamiliar with the song it’s actually quite good but it basically is a dude lamenting about how he fucked up his previous relationship so bad that there is no going back, the girl will never be able to save him because there is nothing left to say, and that he’s all but forgotten what the color of her eyes were and her scars or how she got them.
So naturally the appropriate reaction was to have a good cry in my study and lament the fact that I’m stuck in life, I’m waiting on a full time job to move forward, I’m on hold with everything, my last relationship should have worked but it didn’t and… yeah. You get the point. It ended with a declaration of “God, I can’t do this anymore. I need to change something and I need to change it now.” So I went to work and I thought about ways to change my life and I settled on deactivating my Facebook once my friend Rachel gets back from Spain and doubling my job hunting efforts. Needless to say, I’m not fond of anything listed above so my depression took me to chick-fil-a where I broke my lenten commitment and made sure I’m flying into hell on the wings of a chicken. The chicken was awesome because everything tastes better when you aren’t supposed to have it.
As I was working in the workshop this afternoon I was treated to a song I took a liking to, which I will put below:
I have no clue what the hell that video is about, but you get the message. What I liked even more was that I heard my phone chirp halfway through the song so I went and had a look and saw that I had a missed call and a voicemail from the doctor I had my interview with on Monday. I steeled myself for the rejection and called him back only to find out that I GOT THE JOB!!! I GOT THE JOB!!! I’M NO LONGER STUCK IN A CONCOCTION OF MY OWN SUCK AND MEDIOCRITY!!!
Ahem, you get the point.
So maybe prayers are answered every now and again when the time is right. This morning I was thinking that my life was a mess, I was stuck, and I was going to be stuck for the rest of my existence… and by this afternoon I had a brand new life.
I’ll be working full time in a great office with full benefits (including paid vacation). I’ll be working in a different city, my commute will be 20 minutes without tolls as opposed to a 2 hour a day commute (with a $5 charge)… and now I can get my hobbies and life straightened out. I need to find another church, that much I know. I also want to take ballroom dance classes and there is a studio across the street from where I will be working. I also want to take yoga and there is a place right by my new job (although it’s hot yoga and that sounds sweaty, smelly, and disgusting). Also, piano lessons (although that will have to wait until I can find and train another biller for my current doctor).
So all in all, things are finally looking up and my little prayer/lament this morning was answered. Could good things finally start happening to me?
I guess we’ll find out.