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Before I go to bed, I will leave you with these gems from my Monday.  FML

  1. Still haven’t put those sunglasses in my car. 
  2. Thanks to daylight savings time, I now wake up in the dark.
  3. My cat just farted on my favorite blanket and it is disgusting.
  4. I got the hiccups today in the middle of my lunch when I was sitting with one of my new coworkers. She thought I was burping.
  5. I’m reading a book on the food industry and what they pump into our food, so I made a packaged dessert,  just because I feel like hating myself. Apparently.
  6. I should start a section of the blog dedicated to horribly translating Latin phrases. I’m serious. I just tried to translate a sentence and I got my butt kicked. I used to be able to translate manuscripts AND say all my prayers in Latin. Now I can just tell someone barbarians are springing out of their underarms. 
  7. The dog is making it his life’s mission to shred the paper before I go outside every morning. Nothing says “Good morning Katie!” like a screaming father and a gleeful puppy face.
  8. I lost my balance on my desk chair this morning and ended up on one wheel, pinwheeling, while a desk full of patients (and my coworkers) gaped at me. I did not fall, I just looked like a bad ice skater, or a crazy chicken.
  9. I was rapping to Eminem in my study (because I’m a classy broad) when I realized that I was literally rapping. Out loud. Loudly. And that my Dad could hear me. And that I’m a white nerdy academic who embroiders  And that I was listening to the clean version but rapping the dirty lyrics. “Cinderella Man” thankfully isn’t “Ambitionz az a ridah”, so small victories.
  10. Wanted pizza desperately, made a grilled cheese instead and tried to use my imagination. It didn’t work.

Hope everyone is having a great start to their week! I’m going blog by blog to catch up with people, so if I haven’t got to you yet, don’t feel neglected. And remember, if you drink, don’t drive… do the crazy chicken pinwheel. BAKCAAA!

 

That was a chicken noise.

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