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Ugh.

So today was an interesting day.

On my way home I noticed that I had a missed call and a voice mail. Naturally, I was interested because no one calls me because I don’t give out my number. I feel like I should write a paragraph saying how I’m not antisocial, but isn’t that what someone who’s antisocial would do? Hrm. Anyway… So of course I see the number and I see that it has an area code from my county.

First thought?

If you guessed “Luis” you are correct. I about fell all over myself in an attempt to get to my voice mail. I hate myself. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted that random number to be someone more in my entire existence. I’m just so… frustrated. Every time I think I’m over this and moving on, some random thing comes along and drags me right back. Which brings us to the next part:

It was the jeweler that sold us my engagement ring. She was calling to tell me about a preowned jewelry sale and catch up (she used to work right behind my old job and I’d see her in the store all the time and we’d chat for a bit). Talk about salt in the wound. How does that happen? No, it’s not the ex that you apparently desperately want to talk to. It’s the lady who fitted your fucking engagement ring to said ex. And your wedding band, the one he returned. And your promise ring, the one he got you a week before he left. So basically, the symbols of everything important in the area of my life that doesn’t and probably won’t exist anymore, ever. What are the odds? What are the damn odds?  Of course all those memories came rushing back. I was so happy that day, so happy I cried. Argh, what’s the use reliving those memories? They don’t belong to me, they belong to the person I used to be and she died.

I think I instantly became depressed again even though I knew it was wrong. I shouldn’t feel upset, I just can’t help it. This is just so freaking frustrating words cannot even express, not to mention weird. Am I special? Who the hell else does this shit happen to?

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