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Also known as the most abused button in WordPress history.

I have… 141 followers according to my dash. But in actuality, I have about… 30.

A follower is someone who actually reads your blog, devotes time to it, and gives feedback. About 30 wonderful people do that for me. And I now follow every single one of these people and return the attention.

I don’t have high expectations. We are all adults, we are all busy. We have commutes, car payments, soccer practice, and grocery shopping. We need to sleep. We need to eat. Time can get a little dicey. But if you devote a few minutes to my blog a week, I adore you. I know how precious those few minutes are and I appreciate it.

But this following nonsense has got to stop. I get follows all the time from random people hoping to sell me something, annoy me about something, or get me to just follow them back, blindly.

This is never going to happen. Never, never, never!

I feel like I need a list that pops up over my follow button. It can say the following:

1. Don’t click the follow button if you know nothing about me. For real.

2. If you like one of my posts but don’t bother to leave a comment, don’t follow me.

3. If you haven’t even read more than one thing, don’t follow me.

4. If you haven’t even read the “About Me” section, don’t follow me.

5. If you don’t even know that there are house rules, don’t follow me.

6. If you are high maintenance, don’t follow me. I have limited amounts of time that cannot be devoted exclusively to you. Share!

7. If you expect an immediate response to a comment, read my “about” section before getting annoyed.

8. If you can’t handle my personality or don’t like my viewpoints, why are you still here? 

9. Don’t follow me to sell me something. I literally do not give a single shit.

10. Don’t follow me hoping I’ll get all excited and follow you back. This blog is for me, I’m not in it to amass a hoard of people waiting on my every keystroke.

11. No comment? Random like? Never seen me before? Never gonna see me again? Don’t follow. DON’T DO IT.

Perhaps I’m a bit grumpy, but I don’t think so. If you expect me to ration out my precious few hours a week to include you, it’s only fair that you give me something… anything really, every once in a while. And I wish we could adjust the level of followers to read our real number of followers.

Until then, I’m going to start doing a post every month highlighting a blogger that I feel is exceptional. The only criteria to be chosen is to be present! Like, comment, tell me I’m wrong about something, link a news story I’d like, send me a video that’s funny, suggest a song for the song of the week. All 30 of you will be chosen, I promise you. So don’t you dare get all sulky if you aren’t chosen first, I appreciate all of you equally!

The first blogger I was going to choose for this post just announced that she is closing her blog to focus on real life. You know, things like school, careers, and family. I must admit I’m in mourning, but glad that she is making great choices for herself. When someone makes a choice that is going to be best for them, how can you not support them? Especially if they truly are exceptional and an amazing person all around. So this will be a bittersweet post, but an important one all the same.

With my announcement made and my rant ranted, I shall bid thee all adieu for perhaps the weekend. I have lots to do tomorrow and unless someone cleans my house and does my laundry, I’ll admit that time is going to be a bit of a luxury. So happy blogging to my devoted readers and know that I acknowledge and appreciate every single one of you, even if I might not always say it or reply to your comments in a timely fashion.