Reblogging because of the hilarity. I know several of you are going to like her a lot, so please do pay her a visit. And guys, text back. For real, just do it.
Instead of doing a guide on how to impress a guy since I am socially awkward and talking to them causes me to combust in metaphorical flames, I’m going to write this instead. I know for a fact how a female’s mind – in other words, my own works better than the mystery of creatures that find farting amusing.
Dress to impress.
Do you think those murderous high heels are for the fun of slowly breaking my ankles? No. I can assure you they are not. Ok ok, maybe they can be used for self-defence you know…by smashing the heel into an eye and then laughing maniacally while… Ahem, excuse me there, dark little fantasies involving stupid people. Anyhow, it really wouldn’t hurt you (literarily, your pants do not have a mind of their own and are not out to get you – I think) if you dressed up a…
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