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“… from carcinogens in deep fat frying oil.”  – Mom

The above is a quote that was just passed down to me with a wide eyed, slightly panicked stare. This remark came about because we are currently watching the Travel Channel. Usually, the Travel Channel focuses on a strange man who loves to shove bugs and fermented shit down his face in the name of “exploration”. Today the channel is doing a countdown of the best restaurants in America ‘Murica.

Is it so wrong of me to want to shove everything deep fried down my face? I don’t think so. Try to think about all the things that you would love to eat deep fried. I can’t even attempt to because everything would taste great deep fried.

I know I’m showing my Americaness here, so please forgive me. To convince all of you not to judge me based on my homeland’s fabulous reputation for “larger than life” in every sense of the word, let me assure you that my snack this afternoon was a fruit smoothie, I eat my vegetables on the weekends, I cook my own food, and I try to maintain a healthy lifestyle. But I freaking love fried food. My favorites:

  1. Fried chicken
  2. French fries
  3. Onion rings
  4. Chicken nuggets
  5. Chicken fried steak (I’m from the south okay!)
  6. Doughnuts
  7. Funnel cakes
  8. Fried oreos
  9. Churros
  10. Fried ice cream
  11. Fried cookie dough

But I still have a list of things I want to eat deep fried. Yes, I have a list and it is real. Before I die, I want to eat:

  1. Fried cheesecake
  2. Fried candy bars
  3. Fried quesadilla
  4. Fried cheeseburger
  5. Fried pie
  6. Fried … I just love food and I want to eat everything.

Could you imagine eating a ball of deep fried mashed potatoes? Deep fried macaroni and cheese? Deep fried pizza? Deep fried breadsticks? Cake? Brownies?

Good God I’m starving! Argh… but don’t worry. Tonight we are having Greek with homemade pita bread and fresh vegetables, and for dessert I’m making a fresh fruit and nut tart. No deep fat frying anywhere near here.

Sadly.

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