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Today I encountered a giant spider. And it was terrifying. It was absolutely terrifying.

I’m not fond of spiders, especially not large ones inhabiting my living room. I have not been known to show mercy when it comes to them either, because in the back of my mind I always see it creeping up my bed while I sleep. Because of my outlandish and paranoid delusions, I got a fly swatter and I was going to kill the spider.

But I felt so guilty. Please tell me that this happens to someone else. I couldn’t kill it, I mean it’s not its fault that it is a spider. It did not decide at the beginning or continuation of the cosmic universe “Hey, I think I’ll be a spider this go around”, and if it did, do I still have the authority to kill it? It felt like such a waste, I mean few spiders get to be that size. Killing the spider would be like… like killing Khal Drogo with a dragon. It would be an insult to the mighty spider, not to mention not fair. I mean I’m like 1000 times it’s size or something.

Don’t ask me how, but when I put the fly swatter on the ground, the spider climbed on top of it. And it stayed there, perfectly still, as I led it through the house and the garage, through the door way, and put it in the garden outside. Now it can do whatever spiders do, hopefully for a long time. Plus, if it turns out to be a reincarnation of Aragog, perhaps I’ll be able to buy my safety in the post apocalyptic world inhabited by insects and arachnids.

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