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Existing in a world populated by other people is a pain in the ass. I know that this is an understatement, especially if you are of the cynical variety of person, but I feel as if I had to say it anyway. People are essentially variables and how we all manage to not kill each other is beyond me. Some people cause situations, situations cause Domestic Discord, and Discord causes me to have to change the routine of my life which I find annoying, and then I write about my annoyance here.

Because, I just…. I just…

And I usually don't look like this as I'm typing...

Deal with it sometimes! ARGH!!!!

So, what about these “situations”

Situations that are in and out of our control are the heart of the problem. They cause issues that take place at home and in the workplace. Issues don’t make situations, situations cause issues. Now, home is pretty explanatory and a breeding ground for discord, but I’m bringing work into this as well because we spend on average (if you are a fellow American) more time with our coworkers than we do our actual families. We don’t get much vacation time and when we do get it, it is devoured by a soulless black hole. Knowing the importance of harmony in both main areas of life, I cannot tolerate Domestic Discord in the place where I work or in the place where I sleep. 

Hold Up

What is Domestic Discord? 

Domestic Discord is the stuff that makes life tedious and awkward and the stuff that seems to sap off our energy by just existing. It can be a noun or an idea.

Examples? Sure.

1. Traffic-ageddon

And a glorious Monday to you!

And a glorious Monday to you!

2. Someone near you is having a bad day? Well, that means that everyone is going to have a bad day. Why? Because that negative energy will just roll off them and drown everyone in misery. And there is no escape.

3. Cute shoes that destroy themselves when you are out late and don’t have a spare.

Discord

I have a little story about those shoes you haven’t paid off yet…

4. One person feels sick at work? Sorry, your department effectiveness just died a horrible death because you are now worrying if that cough was the result of an untimely swallow or the next office plague.

5. You made dinner and just forgot some steps in the middle. Yummy!

I did this to a pan once...

I did this to a pan once…

6. Sunday night funk.

7. The fact that this exists at all.

This.

I don’t know where to begin heckling this…

8. Bad timing. Did you walk near a room right when something bad happened? Congrats, it is now exclusively your fault the event occurred because you were a “distraction”. Don’t know how you could cause someone to drop something from a couple rooms away? Doesn’t matter! It is how it is.

9. When the universe really doesn’t want you going somewhere…

Late for work? So sad...

Late for work? So sad…

10. When the supply closet stages a mutiny. There are no highlighters anywhere,  the paper is nowhere to be found, and no paper towels are in the bathroom. So now you have wet hands and broken dreams.

11. SHIT LIKE THIS.

CHEESY SHIT LIKE THIS

That is not how it works. Not at all.

12. Late for work? Red lights. Late anywhere? Red lights. Early? Green.

13. Drug smugglers getting their car stuck on top of a border fence because they lack an education in basic physics.

The fact that these people are probably very wealthy as a result of drug smuggling.

Also, the fact that these people are probably very wealthy as a result of drug smuggling despite their stupidity.

14. The coworker who talks to the office like she is talking to her therapist.

15. Nature rebelling.

This is a power outage. At the worst possible time.

This is a power outage. At the worst possible time.

16. Speeches on how other people should get with the program at the dinner table and at meetings of any type. “Other people” being you.

17. The fact that shit like this is popping up all over the internet and pissing me off.

All these advertisements telling me I'm likely to die alone. *eyeroll*

“Shit Like This” means all these advertisements telling me I’m likely to die alone unless I sign up for online dating. And fast!

This is Domestic Discord.

It is everything that goes wrong at home or at work added to things that just piss you off for no reason. It is the annoyances of everyday life. It is the reason people fight over petty things, the reason people hate their jobs, and the reason I’m holed up in my room avoiding everyone else.

There is no cure for the Discord, it must resolve itself. In the meantime, all you can do is survive. Survival requires candy to throw at angry coworkers, medications for headaches always within reach, and a routine of nods and “you’re too good for him anyway” speeches. It requires learning the art of a hasty apology and a routine that takes you away from the right people at the right times. It requires some tough skin, some great music, and lots of comfort food. But sometimes it is just the knowledge to stay the hell away from situations that you already know will be overwhelmingly stressful.

Even so, when the Discord strikes one must often retreat. I just wish I would have retreated with some water, I’m a bit thirsty now.

The good thing is that it is often temporary, each day bringing a new situation. I just hope tomorrow is not the stealing of post-it notes and more “Isn’t it so great I have a boyfriend??!?! I’m so mean to him but he sticks around anyway. How come you are still single Kate?” Because UGH. I might just take some of my own advice and avoid that situation tomorrow. 😉

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