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I’m a hater when it comes to the lottery and I’m pretty vocal about the deal. I’m going to open this up with a disclaimer. To anyone who plays the lottery: I don’t like it, I don’t believe in it, but I respect your right to gamble whatever you want. And strong language is ahead.

Now let’s get this shit started.

Lotto Tickets

I think the lotto is a soul sucking bottom feeder that preys on one of the most beautiful of human emotions: Hope. The lotto has put a price tag on this emotion and has exploited it far and wide. Everyone who plays the lotto thinks “just one more ticket, one more scratch, one more chance… that’ll be the one, the last, the only…” (Props to everyone who read that in the voice of Gollum.)
But it’s true isn’t it? Else, why would people keep playing after they lose over and over again? Hope has been harnessed and used against us by the lotto. We all bear the marks of shame on our wallets and our souls because we just keep hoping.

The lotto glorifies easy money. I often sit around and think about what it might be like to have so much money I could use a fresh roll of Franklins instead of some Charmin. I know I’m not the only one because in America we have channels dedicated to ogling the toys the rich have. I think it is safe to say 90% of the populous is obsessed with the notion of money. I think this stems from the fact that many people think that more money would solve all their problems. Don’t get me wrong, it could solve a few. But money can’t solve the deep down messed up crap that needs to be talked out in therapy or just dealt with. But people still play the lotto, some even as a career. I had one man tell me “I could go and work a job all day or I can scratch tickets. Which one do you think I’m going to do?”

It can cause a gambling addiction. Seriously, just like drugs and alcohol, the lotto is an addiction. If you think about it, it’s nothing more than gambling, only you throw into a pretty damn big pot. I worked a lotto counter for years and we had regulars call to get the numbers at lunch and before they left work, we had professional gamblers, we had people that exhausted every form of money they had just by sitting there and scratching ticket after ticket. People spent $500 and walked away with nothing several times a week. Where their money is coming from, I don’t know. But I know I sure as hell can’t do that shit. I have bills to pay with my money.

No one ever fucking wins. They don’t. When is the last time anyone was crowned an instantmoneyaire? Can anyone remember? How long ago was that? Where was that?

Yeah, I don’t know either.

The people that win the lotto say it destroys their lives. There are actually entire television series dedicated to lottery winners spending all their money and ending up more broke and in debt than they were before. And they are lucky, because other winners are murdered. Granted, some winners keep their head on straight and do things like invest and pay off their college but those are not the majority. I personally would not want to win the lottery unless it was a small amount. On one hand, I’d love to see for my close family, but I would not want anyone in my extended family to know. Forget all the other people that would come out of the woodwork and ask me to give them a roll of my Franklins. I’ll pass.

If you live in Florida, your lotto money doesn’t go to education. It is supposed to fund college scholarships and other noteworthy things, but college scholarships issued through the state got cut to the point they are worthless. Where that money is going, I have no clue. But it sure as hell never got to where it was supposed to go.

As readers can probably guess, I do not play the lotto and my college scholarship got cut, leaving me bitter, resentful, and a great deal poorer. I still give my Dad the look of shame when he asks me to pick up up a quick pick. I shy away from the office lotto pool. I’ve never seen people win even a quarter of the money they spend on tickets. But that is my personal thing.

But I know that I can be wrong. One night, my coworker drew a random ticket. That ticket went to a struggling student who won just enough to graduate medical school debt free. Even I can’t argue with that.