It is currently 4AM here in Florida and I am wide awake because I’m a moron. The reason why I’m up is because I’m frustrated due to a bunch of things out of my control. And, being me, instead of realizing that said things are out of my control I agonize over them resulting in me becoming more stressed, which perpetuates the cycle.
At least I know I have a shitty way of dealing with things.
So last Wednesday I woke up to get the news that one of my family members had suffered a stroke in the middle of the night. Of course I get that news when I’m practically walking out the door to go to work. Thankfully, all worked out fine but Wednesday was just a day completely gone to shit and I had an emotional episode because of what was going on… argh. Not nice.
Then came the office plague. I’m currently fighting off the latest installment that I refer to as “drowning in your own shit and vomit”. Because that is basically what it is with the addition of a major headache and the inability to sleep. 75% of the office either got it or has it currently which has made my workweek a living hell.
My partner ended up missing the last couple of weeks due to yet another type of illness (I swear, it is almost comical at this point due to the fact that she only works about 50% of the days she is scheduled). I’d have more sympathy if she didn’t do it to herself. It is basic knowledge that if you are sick you need to take care of yourself and not doing so results in less than favorable results. But she is apparently coming back to work today which should be interesting because…
My new partner is getting way too close to me. And it is freaking me the fuck out. I understand that she wants to bond, I get that we need to learn how to work together because it will be the three of us in the department. But she’s asking me to help her paint her house this weekend and that makes me really uncomfortable. I don’t want to be friends with my coworkers outside of work. I don’t. It is a really shitty idea, I’ve done it before, and we all know how well that worked out for me. Going out to lunch or something in a group is fine, a few of us are going to see a movie next Monday but I don’t want to help paint someone’s house.
Plus, I already have plans this weekend. Granted, one day my major goal is to not change out of my pajamas, but it’s my weekend and I can do whatever the hell I want. So I’m thinking that there is going to be massive fallout because I won’t be wielding a paint roller. And the more I think about it, the more I don’t care. I don’t know if it is because it’s damn early and I’m up because I’m worried about this, but I really am fresh out of fucks to give.
I had to talk to my bosses last night because I caught wind that said new partner was complaining about having to answer the phones more often because she moved departments. More specifically, she was saying that I don’t answer the phones enough and talking to the billing department about it and saying that it was poor job performance on my end. I found that out last night and that really pissed me off. Answering the phones isn’t even in my job description! I’m supposed to be constantly available for patients in the office. So I felt a little betrayed, I mean I’ve been trying overly hard to be nice about this entire thing to make the transition easy, but come on. That is freaking ridiculous.
So my stubborn side kicked in and I sat the doctors down and told them all the shit that has been going on up front. Mainly that tasks weren’t getting done, what was getting done wasn’t getting done correctly, and that I was scared to death that I’d be ganged up on and outvoted because… my old partner and my new partner are friends. This is like a train wreck and it makes me sick to my stomach. I can handle one partner, but two partners that are alike, think alike, work alike, and have the exact same shortcomings? I feel ill and it’s not because of the plague. Granted I have the entirety of my department on my side, sans those two, but damn.
Now that I’ve had my little rant, know that I realize this can be much worse. Like I said, I have my doctors and all the managers on my side. I have my own list of things that I need to get done that I am accountable for. As long I stick to my own shit and work like usual, I’ll be just fine. Socially it might suck, but do I really care? I did say I didn’t want to be friends with my coworkers so if they don’t like me…
So that was my week. I hope the rest of you fared better! I’ll be working on getting caught up this morning and tonight so I will be bringing you comment tribute.