Language advisory – snark and swearing ahead
So, the guy I stopped talking to about a month ago decided to call me up last night and when I rejected the call he sent me a text wondering what he did. Now, to be (as my brother puts it) “cut off like a diseased limb”, one would have to do some really bad shit.
In this case, I’m talking about the ex from way back in my freshman year of college (we only dated for 3 months or so) who recently moved back home. He called me up and we had coffee, he told me that he would like to pursue a friendship. I figured what the hell and threw him a line. Little did I know that he was just wasting my time. When I asked him why he contacted me, he told me “I don’t know.” Perhaps that should have been my first clue.
Anyway, we had plans to hang out and he cancelled them. He also wouldn’t return my texts for days, if at all. And if I wouldn’t text him, it would take him a week to notice. Finally, after my hit and run, he called and proceeded to tell me what to do with my car (as if I hadn’t already done everything). During this call he also said that he was going to take me gambling for my birthday (which he confirmed he knew was 2 days away). When I said I didn’t want to go out for my 21st, he pitched a fit and hung up on me for some other mysterious phone call. He then ignored my birthday. He knew full well when it was because he’d told me 2 days before, not to mention when we met for coffee the first time, and then in a text the week prior to this incident.
So in knowing that, I stopped talking to him. No one hurts my feelings and wastes my time. No sir, no ma’am. He didn’t get the picture though because he sent me another text a month after this happened. Usually, I don’t engage. But if I don’t tell people that their behavior sucks ass, how are they going to know? I’m trying to get better about that so I figured I’d engage this time.
C: Ok, I have no idea what I did.
Me: Well, you pissed me off. Basically, I threw you a line and you were not interested in the least. I tried to establish a friendship but it felt like all my effort was one sided. You didn’t want to hang out, you didn’t text for days on end, and then you just ignored my birthday. That really isn’t my style and I was rather hurt and annoyed. I stopped contacting you because I feel like our personalities don’t mix. I mean, I honestly can’t believe you didn’t know that what you were doing could be perceived as pretty shitty.
C: I’m so sorry about your birthday! I have no excuse for that. I hadn’t thought of your birthday in years and I honestly forgot. I’m really really sorry about that. I can understand you being mad about that. Totally reasonable. But I do get busy sometimes. I didn’t “not message” you for any reason. I do that. You can even ask my best friends. Nothing I’ve done could even be considered remotely “shitty”. I talked to you. I didn’t lead you on in any way. I’m sorry if it came off that way, but that is not my fault.
Me: Wait, I’m confused about the “leading on” thing. I thought you wanted to be friends. Just friends. I have not entertained any other notion. I appreciate your apology but I stand by what I said before. What doesn’t bother you (texting, etc.) does bother me. So I guess it’s just a difference of opinion.
C: I’m not sure I’m catching what you’re pitching. You’re mad that I texted you/contacted you in the first place?
Me: No, I just thought we could be friends but apparently our friendship styles are just very different.
I’d like to take a moment to think on how he thought that I wanted to get back together with him. His first reaction was to think I was mad at him for not being romantically inclined. He did not even think that it had anything to do with the disinterested and disrespectful behavior he exhibited! I think he honestly thinks behaving like that is acceptable. But seriously, 5 years after he moves away, he moves back and assumes that I want to get back together with him? I might be a lot of things, a bitch being one, but I am not a princess in a tower waiting for the first Prince Charming that stumbles his way to the bottom. Not happening. I cannot believe this crap, I know not all men are like this one… right?