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So I came home from work last night and my Dad about ran me down at the door with his hilarious news. Apparently, his boss (who might or might not be very bright) completed a company sponsored 6 week course developed by Cornell University.


Cornell is a private, ivy league research institution. It was founded in 1865 (that’s old for America) and about 17% of students that apply are admitted. Oh, and it’s expensive as hell. I mean, their crest practically screams expensive and the first thing on their homepage is “Hey guys, check out our original handwritten copy of the Gettysburg Address!” Yes, I’m jealous I couldn’t go there because I can’t afford it and probably wouldn’t have been admitted. Their loss.

Anyway, guess what my Dad’s boss did? He got one of those license plate holder things that says “Cornell Alumni”. Mind you, the guy’s program was developed by Cornell. He was never admitted to the university, he never actually went there, he just took a company sponsored 6 week course. So he is, in fact, the farthest thing from Alumni that one can possibly be.