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Our accountant likes to play pranks and she’s damn good at them.

She cleaned the office this weekend, meaning that she was left alone with no one to supervise her. Apparently, while she was cleaning, she found this creepy ass wooden massive voodooesque skeleton statue thing. She decided that I would appreciate such fine decorations at my desk so she hid the statue behind one of my computer monitors.

I walked in this morning and the lights were dimmed. Plus, I was late because I can’t manage my time properly on Monday mornings. Anyway, I round the corner and see the fucking creepy floating skeleton head with the creepiest jujus coming off it and I about pissed myself. I screamed bloody murder and about keeled over. I don’t do horror movies, I don’t do haunted houses, and I don’t do creepy ass statues with bad vibes coming off of them.

Naturally, my next step was to take a deep breath and start yelling at Tammy. About one sentence in, the power goes completely out in the office. Oh hell no. I grabbed Bad Juju and delivered it to Doris who managed to croak out between gasps of laughter the story of when Duane (our tech guy) found the statue in the server closet and put dark chocolate hershey kisses (red wrappers) in the eye holes. He hid Bad Juju behind her monitor in a dark corner and we all know how that ended.

Bad Juju freaks me the hell out and if I see it one more time, I swear to God I’m going to make it into kindling. How a Halloween decoration can be so damn creepy, I have no clue. But whoever made it was really pissed off at someone.