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Oh online dating. How amusing I find thee…

First, let’s talk about work to set the tone for the rest of this piece. My partner is out on a mental health trip. If you remember, every time she feels that life is too overwhelming, she checks herself into the damn hospital for God knows how fucking long. So far now, we are on a week. A couple times before, she was out for an entire month. An entire month of no-call, no-shows. Meanwhile, I forgot what a lunch break is and my new hours suck. I’m pissed. Absolutely pissed.

So, in keeping my work mood in mind…

Let’s talk about dating. Apparently I’m too damn picky and impatient. Never in my entire life did I think that finding someone would be this hard. But again, it’s me that’s the issue. I signed up for eHarmony and I’ve been on that site for a couple weeks now. I’ve had a few guys interested, but they weren’t really what I’m looking for. One match was a biology lab assistant/retail dude who doesn’t think women should fly planes. I cannot understand that one for the life of me. I also keep attracting far right stereotypes. No, I take that back… extreme right stereotypes. One guy was posing with a fucking AK-47 in his profile photo. No, do not want. DO NOT WANT. On the other side, I get far left stereotypes. No, I don’t want to ford the Amazon to save the rain forest or whatever the hell… 

Normal. I just want a nice, normal, decent guy who has a huge heart and an even bigger brain. Preferably not crazy. Definitely no shirtless photos or AK-47s. No sketch colleges, no rosaries around their necks. No selfies with dirty bathrooms in the background.

I’m too picky. Obviously.

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