Look Here First!

Greetings Kind Sir or Madame,

The purpose of this blog is to be hilarious and entertaining (but at times reflective), so I will not bore you with a long personal essay. I will instead use essay prompts and bullet points, because I find them amusing.

Who: Katie Renee
What: Certified Paraoptometric
Where: Florida, USA
When: 90’s to present

Education:
1. May 2012: B.A. in History, minor in Anthropology, focus in Archaeology. Go Knights!Β 
2. December 2013: AOA Certified Paraoptometric

Activities: I cook, bake, play way too much Skyrim, make jewelry, take oil and acrylic painting classes, and embroider. My first loves will always be music and reading.Β 

Likes:

  • Film, minus horror movies
  • Hating “Modern Art” because it’s literally garbage
  • Music, minus death metal
  • BBC World News – Because I’ve learned to be paranoid concerning American news sources
  • Theology – Thinking is good
  • Dirty jokes and creative cursing… life is too damn short (and the rent is too damn high!!)
  • Obscure references that no one else understands, but make me seem a lot more intelligent than I actually am.Β 
  • Dreaming of a world without the “Twilight” franchise
  • The irony of Columbus Day
  • Not being a Xenophobe

Here are some things to know:

  1. I cannot promise not to bore you to tears.
  2. I cannot promise to respond to every comment I receive.
  3. I promise that if I visited your blog and left feedback, I actually read your posts and care about what you have to say. Congrats on being talented or interesting. If you think of yourself as neither, you may thank my empty wine glass and the late hour of night.
  4. I have a potty mouth.
  5. I don’t care about the tools you have to enhance my blog. And if you care about that, I don’t care about you.
  6. I like to sometimes talk like a pirate. It keeps life interesting.
  7. Sarcasm makes the world a better place.
  8. I am insane. My family is insane. My friends are insane. And if you wish to stick around and read whatever useless drivel I splatter across your screen, you are also insane.
  9. If you are insane enough to get through this page without quivering in terror or praying for me to your deity of choice, you are invited to stay however long you wish… Come to the dark side!
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29 thoughts on “Look Here First!”

  1. Hey! Love your about me and even my facebook is in Pirate! Hi5! πŸ˜› And insane friends are the best! Love your blog! Keep updating! x

  2. Hello again, I’ve nominated you for a Beautiful Blogger Award. You can choose to participate or not. It’s up to you. To read more about it, you can go to my post: http://tfaswift.wordpress.com/2012/10/13/beautiful-blogger-award/ and find directions, as well as a list of other bloggers I’ve nominated.

  3. Hi there, you know I like your blog. πŸ™‚ I was wondering if you would be be so kind as to spare me a moment of your time over on my blog? I’m trying to do a poll on my blog asking people (anonymously) to vote as to whether or not they believe in past lives/reincarnation. I don’t have that many followers and most of them are proving very reluctant to click a button and make a choice. Would you be so kind as to visit my blog and see if you’d like to give your input? I don’t mind which way you vote, it makes no difference, and I won’t know what you voted anyway since I can’t see who does it, I can only see the number of votes. Here’s the link just in case you’d be willing: http://tfaswift.wordpress.com/2012/10/16/do-you-believe-1/ I’d really appreciate it. My name is Tilda by the way. πŸ™‚

  4. Hi Katie Renee,
    I’ve nominated you for the following award: http://turtlegirl22.wordpress.com/2012/11/21/liebster-award/

  5. 7. Sarcasm makes the world a better place – couldn’t agree more!

  6. Firmly on the dark side.. Consider me insane and subscribed..

    • Oooo, just in time! I’m currently organizing my holiday baking so in a couple days, recipes for delicious confections will be flooding my blog! πŸ˜€

      My hot chocolate recipe might come in handy with all that snowy weather!

  7. I look forward to reading more. πŸ™‚

  8. Hi there, it’s me. I don’t think you’re into the Awards thing but I’m nominating you anyway! Consider it a gesture of my respect and admiration for you and your marvellous blog. πŸ™‚
    I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. If you want to partake please visit my blog and check it out here – http://tfaswift.com/2012/12/07/liebster-award/
    No worries if you prefer not to; just like to promote your blog when I have the chance!

    • Thanks Tilda!

      Although I’m not one to partake of awards, it does make me smile when I get one πŸ™‚ Thanks for promoting me through your posts and comments, it is always noticed and greatly appreciated! πŸ˜€

  9. I loved this. I found myself nodding in the affirmative to every single word you typed.

  10. I kinda like this especially the part about insanity that runs in the family and among your friends. It is a place I would feel most at home.

  11. lilypetal91 said:

    Congratulations, Katie!

    I have nominated your blog for the Very Inspiring Blogger award.

    The rules are at

    http://lilypetal91.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/very-inspiring-blogger-award/

    Enjoy! Lily x

  12. the dark side is insane…so were Darth Vader, Darth Maul, Darth Sidius and everything that sounds like dark or darth or darn or whatever…came upon your blog from lilypetal91 and at once I’m conferring on you the Very Insane Blogger award…the rules are there no rules πŸ™‚ just enjoy this insane recognition! Keep on clicking (in your writings)!

  13. I love obscure references too, my karate students are often lost at my sayings, but they make me laugh, together with the odd one from my generation or older who get it.
    Nice blog, I look forward to reading more.
    Wayne

  14. I am also sarcastic, but also bitter in a good way. I also blog because I like to get my “stand up” material out there and see what sticks and what doesn’t. Although I don’t have rules posted up on my blog, I do enjoy your rules.

  15. Hi have nominated you for this if you’re interested http://artofstumbling.wordpress.com/2013/01/05/its-awards-time-duh-duh-duh/

  16. Hahha…I liked to know the “things” about you. You’re quite interesting. I enjoyed your blog!
    πŸ™‚

  17. Hi, I love your blog. I have nominated you for the Liebster award if you’re interested. Kind Regards, Rebecca. http://artofstumbling.wordpress.com/2013/02/28/liebster/

    Oh dear, how most awfully formal, you know what I mean πŸ˜‰

    P.S. I wouldn’t trust the BBC either if I were you.

    • LMFAO I read the beginning and was like… it’s me. Why so formal? Thank you as always!

      And BBC is the best we’ve got. If you want to kill your brain cells and be a full blown conspiracy theorist, watch Fox News. Our other national news channels aren’t as bad, but not by much. πŸ˜‰

  18. tfaswift said:

    I agree about sarcasm! Why does everybody say it’s a defense mechanism?? It is not. It’s damn funny.

  19. tfaswift said:

    Hi Katie! I realise that you don’t usually participate in the blog awards that go around, but nevertheless, I have nominated you for the Shine On Award. Here’s the link in case you’re interested. http://tfaswift.com/2013/03/05/nominees-for-shine-on-award/
    It’s up to you if you choose to participate. I am happy to nominate you either way, because I like the opportunity to promote your blog to my readers. πŸ™‚

  20. OK, so I shivered a little, but not nearly enough to scare me away. I like your honesty. Particularly in the post about “followers.” And yes, I plan to push the evil button — but only because I don’t care if you do the same.

  21. Hey my awesome follower! I nominated you for the liebster award so check out the post here: http://wp.me/p2HdQr-ol
    πŸ™‚

  22. I am insane enough to follow. Saw your URL on Steampunk Dreamers blog. Thought I’d check yours out. I like it.

  23. Oh my, you sold me at “the rent is too damn high.” My boyfriend and I quote that all the time thanks to a college political science professor. Made my day! Look forward to reading more!

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